This blog will attempt to explain some of the thought processes behind track one on the record, The Decommissioner. Which is essentially about blowing up Hazelwood power station with a  hard on.

Hard Ons! Not the ones i mean but this is a family blog

this baby is powering my macbook sadly

So Hazelwood is this monstrously polluting coal fire power station in Gippsland. It is the worst in the southern hemisphere. Really old technology and subsidised like crazy. There is so much money in digging up the black  stuff though for middle aged power guys and politicans and the economy in general that no one’s gonna do a thing about changing the power grid until they are essentially forced to.  And its a peaceful democracy so its like who is gonna do that?

I went to a protest about it. Really lovely people there and a lot of  hippies but when you think that the whole planet is dying and all the plants and animals and oceans with it and we are just gonna end up in some Mad Max stylee squabble for resources and water, it was sobering to think that almost no one was there

Brunswick st, the year 2056

I’ve never been in a fight even. My youth was playing cricket against a wall and listening to the Smiths. No gangs at all for me, although the Beenleigh/ Logan city area sure isn’t a place to go wandering about at night.

Mayor of Logan City

But violent upbringing? no.

But when i thought about how those creepy money makers are prepared to fuck us all in the arse to put their demon spawn through Scotch college (so they can future fuck our future children in the future arses) it sure made my blood boil.

So i started to write this musical.

The plot goes vaguely like this

A yuppie dude has an epiphany about Global Warming while shopping in American Apparel

He buys a khaki layered jumpsuit with matching balaclava and sets off on a Honda 250 to blow up a power station

After he becomes a fugitive he decides to hide in an indie rock band (thanks Dave Graney) and they tour about blowing up power stations with special explosive guitar pedals and laser xylophones. Lets call this indie band DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX

Everytime they do another station it ends the gig as they have no power. So they are frustrated. A frustrated indie band, who ever thought of that?

young and indie but dedicated eco warriors

DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX are so successful after a Pitchfork feature that they tour until the whole coal industry is on its knees. Unfortunately The Chinese government needs that coal so they invade and harvest everyone’s organs. So the freshly harvested Oz public really hates this indie band.

They escape to the bush and live in a cave for 50 years, They become incredible xylophone players and adept at swapping instruments. Their floppy hair dreads up and they have to eat insects.

Even the sound engineer had to chow down on the water bugs for brunch satisfaction

Then in 2056 the descended Chinese emo children discover DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX through some obscure website and they become totally hip.

They come out of the cave and do a national tour put on by Michael Chugg’s Cryogenically Sustained Brain Touring Co

Anyways like i said i’m just the author and not the dude. I think its good to think about what radicalizes people though. Is the law more important than the future of everything? I certainly don’t like the idea of hurting anyone though.

What would Ghandi do?

old ways of powering the lap top

Or John Lennon? In ‘Revolution’ he couldn’t decide whether to say ‘when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out’ or …’ count me in’.

So he says ‘out…in!’

hmmm

getting back on the sauce is one way to deal with ol' Apocalypse dread

THE DECOMMISSIONER

AMERICAN APPAREL  HAD A SPECIAL ON KHAKI
WITH A MATCHING BALACLAVA STITCHED IN NORTHERN ITALY
WELL IT JUST GOT ME THINKING AND I FLASHED MY CREDIT CARD
I MUST ADMIT I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A TRIFLE HARD…

I READ THE WEATHER MAKERS, READ SOME GHANDI TOO
AND I THOUGHT ABOUT THE SPACE THAT DOES EXIST ‘TWEEN ME AND YOU
THEN I STOLE SOME HIGH EXPLOSIVE FROM THE COFFIN CHEATERS CLUB
AND I VANISHED LIKE A NINJA TO THE SCRUB…

I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
GUILTY OF THE WORST SEDITION
HELICOPTERS ON MY TRAIL
I’M DANCING LIKE A HARE KRISHNA!

LIKE STEVE MCQUEEN ON MY 250
O-ER THE COMPOUND FENCE!
WELL THE BLOOD HAD LIFTED TO MY HEAD
MY LEGS WERE IN SUSPENSE
THEN I RAMMED A STICK OF JELLY
‘NEATH THE COOLING TOWERS WALL
CRASHED THE BOOM GATE AS THE BRICKS BEGAN TO FALL…

I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
TAKING THE EXTREME POSITION
TAUNTING THE POLICE COMMISSIONER!
I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
GUILTY OF THE WORST SEDITION
SERVICE STATION CAMERAS CATCH ME
DANCIN’
LIKE A HARE KRISHNA!

(WACKY INSTRUMENTAL HIGH SPEED CHASE THROUGH GIPPSLAND COMMENCES)
ROAD BLOCKS ON ALL THE HIGHWAYS
I SLUNK ALONG THE CREEKS
SOON JOINED BY ANGRY SCIENTISTS
AMD SOME OLD JESUS FREAKS
COLLECTING STRANGE DISCIPLES
WE HATCHED A BRAND NEW PLAN
WE STARTED PRE PRODUCTION
ON A TOURING INDIE BAND!

WE WENT…
UP THE FREEWAY IN OUR BLACK TARAGO
RUN ON SOLAR POWER
DE -COMMISSIONING POWER STATIONS
THE  COPS CLOSE BY THE HOUR
REVIEWERS IN THEIR LEATHER TRENCH COATS
SETTIN UP MY BUZZ
SAY I’LL BE FAMOUS IF I JUST AVOID THE FUZZ!

OH MR POLICE COMMISIONER
LOOK AT IT FROM MY POSITION
A – POCALYPSE IS COMIN’
AND I’M REALLY A CONCERNED PARISHIONER
ACTING ON MY OWN VOLITION
TAKING THE EXTREME POSITION
I’M TIRED OF ALL THIS INDECISION!
BOOM

8 76

8 thoughts on “The Decommissioner


*

  1. t-rex 7 years ago

    dan kelly, you are my most favouritest hero of all time, especially since i even saw you at climate camp in 2008! decommissioning 4evs.

  2. Scottie D 7 years ago

    What a song on one fantastic album. Whilst I am sure a good natured debate and some disagreement on your premise Dan would make for an interesting blog, I unfortunately have to agree with you. Hazelwood needs to be shut down now, and we need to convince Brumby that developing new coal fired power stations is not the answer.

    So viva la revolution count me in…out

  3. McBride 7 years ago

    Love it. At a recent festival some indy electro dreamer walked past and my artist said ‘He’s cosmic man’ and I thought no he’s just a vacant dude who can’t play in time to a sequencer. And they said “What you don’t like prog?” And I laughed and nearly vomited, history again has ended.

  4. matt 7 years ago

    Great band name, spewing I didn’t think of it.

  5. Winston Smith 7 years ago

    If this goes on Broadway, can I play the Yupi dude?
    I look good in Khaki.

  6. Maddie 7 years ago

    wicked story line, seriously!

  7. Ava 7 years ago

    Thanks for your songs at 774’s Intimate Evening on Thursday, especially ‘Stretch’ as I love Yoga! :) What do you think about the idea of a peace rally and music concert to heighten people’s awareness for caring for our environment? Music and songs stir people. You and your muso friends have the draw to do it.

  8. craig walker 7 years ago

    like your bs im a knot on alog floating to sea then ill be ripple that vibrates thru space butt i only landed here to tell your brother how much i love him and his music its like a spark in the dark paul kelly kicks a fist full of grace xxx