The Decommissioner

This blog will attempt to explain some of the thought processes behind track one on the record, The Decommissioner. Which is essentially about blowing up Hazelwood power station with a  hard on.

So Hazelwood is this monstrously polluting coal fire power station in Gippsland. It is the worst in the southern hemisphere. Really old technology and subsidised like crazy. There is so much money in digging up the black  stuff though for middle aged power guys and politicans and the economy in general that no one’s gonna do a thing about changing the power grid until they are essentially forced to.  And its a peaceful democracy so its like who is gonna do that?

I went to a protest about it. Really lovely people there and a lot of  hippies but when you think that the whole planet is dying and all the plants and animals and oceans with it and we are just gonna end up in some Mad Max stylee squabble for resources and water, it was sobering to think that almost no one was there

I’ve never been in a fight even. My youth was playing cricket against a wall and listening to the Smiths. No gangs at all for me, although the Beenleigh/ Logan city area sure isn’t a place to go wandering about at night.

But violent upbringing? no.

But when i thought about how those creepy money makers are prepared to fuck us all in the arse to put their demon spawn through Scotch college (so they can future fuck our future children in the future arses) it sure made my blood boil.

So i started to write this musical.

The plot goes vaguely like this

A yuppie dude has an epiphany about Global Warming while shopping in American Apparel

He buys a khaki layered jumpsuit with matching balaclava and sets off on a Honda 250 to blow up a power station

After he becomes a fugitive he decides to hide in an indie rock band (thanks Dave Graney) and they tour about blowing up power stations with special explosive guitar pedals and laser xylophones. Lets call this indie band DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX

Everytime they do another station it ends the gig as they have no power. So they are frustrated. A frustrated indie band, who ever thought of that?

DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX are so successful after a Pitchfork feature that they tour until the whole coal industry is on its knees. Unfortunately The Chinese government needs that coal so they invade and harvest everyone’s organs. So the freshly harvested Oz public really hates this indie band.

They escape to the bush and live in a cave for 50 years, They become incredible xylophone players and adept at swapping instruments. Their floppy hair dreads up and they have to eat insects.

Then in 2056 the descended Chinese emo children discover DEERWOLF VS SQUIRRELFOX through some obscure website and they become totally hip.

They come out of the cave and do a national tour put on by Michael Chugg’s Cryogenically Sustained Brain Touring Co

Anyways like i said i’m just the author and not the dude. I think its good to think about what radicalizes people though. Is the law more important than the future of everything? I certainly don’t like the idea of hurting anyone though.

What would Ghandi do?

Or John Lennon? In ‘Revolution’ he couldn’t decide whether to say ‘when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out’ or …’ count me in’.

So he says ‘out…in!’

hmmm

THE DECOMMISSIONER

AMERICAN APPAREL  HAD A SPECIAL ON KHAKI
WITH A MATCHING BALACLAVA STITCHED IN NORTHERN ITALY
WELL IT JUST GOT ME THINKING AND I FLASHED MY CREDIT CARD
I MUST ADMIT I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A TRIFLE HARD…

I READ THE WEATHER MAKERS, READ SOME GHANDI TOO
AND I THOUGHT ABOUT THE SPACE THAT DOES EXIST ‘TWEEN ME AND YOU
THEN I STOLE SOME HIGH EXPLOSIVE FROM THE COFFIN CHEATERS CLUB
AND I VANISHED LIKE A NINJA TO THE SCRUB…

I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
GUILTY OF THE WORST SEDITION
HELICOPTERS ON MY TRAIL
I’M DANCING LIKE A HARE KRISHNA!

LIKE STEVE MCQUEEN ON MY 250
O-ER THE COMPOUND FENCE!
WELL THE BLOOD HAD LIFTED TO MY HEAD
MY LEGS WERE IN SUSPENSE
THEN I RAMMED A STICK OF JELLY
‘NEATH THE COOLING TOWERS WALL
CRASHED THE BOOM GATE AS THE BRICKS BEGAN TO FALL…

I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
TAKING THE EXTREME POSITION
TAUNTING THE POLICE COMMISSIONER!
I AM THE DE-COMMISSIONER
GUILTY OF THE WORST SEDITION
SERVICE STATION CAMERAS CATCH ME
DANCIN’
LIKE A HARE KRISHNA!

(WACKY INSTRUMENTAL HIGH SPEED CHASE THROUGH GIPPSLAND COMMENCES)
ROAD BLOCKS ON ALL THE HIGHWAYS
I SLUNK ALONG THE CREEKS
SOON JOINED BY ANGRY SCIENTISTS
AMD SOME OLD JESUS FREAKS
COLLECTING STRANGE DISCIPLES
WE HATCHED A BRAND NEW PLAN
WE STARTED PRE PRODUCTION
ON A TOURING INDIE BAND!

WE WENT…
UP THE FREEWAY IN OUR BLACK TARAGO
RUN ON SOLAR POWER
DE -COMMISSIONING POWER STATIONS
THE  COPS CLOSE BY THE HOUR
REVIEWERS IN THEIR LEATHER TRENCH COATS
SETTIN UP MY BUZZ
SAY I’LL BE FAMOUS IF I JUST AVOID THE FUZZ!

OH MR POLICE COMMISIONER
LOOK AT IT FROM MY POSITION
A – POCALYPSE IS COMIN’
AND I’M REALLY A CONCERNED PARISHIONER
ACTING ON MY OWN VOLITION
TAKING THE EXTREME POSITION
I’M TIRED OF ALL THIS INDECISION!
BOOM